Parents v. Treatment – by Nick Fontaine

Disability has hung over my head since I was 18 months old, when I was diagnosed with type I diabetes. I’ve dealt with insulin shots, pumps, and finger pricks for, literally, as long as I can remember. As a result, I don’t even consider it any extra effort; it’s just a part of my life. My ADHD is a far different story. I was diagnosed in seventh grade, giving me more than a decade to feel its full influence on my life.

I was considered a problem child for years. Fights, arguments, failing grades, very few friends. Eventually, something clicked in the mind of an adult and I was tested for ADHD. Next thing I know, I’m taking prescribed medication and maturing more in one week than I had in three years. I went from straight C’s and D’s to A’s and B’s. Behavioral problems disappeared. I could socialize without seeming distant. Overnight, most of my personal struggles became faint memories. For all intents and purposes, the medication was a godsend.  Which is why my father’s opposition to it rocked me to the core.

Amid fuzzy memories of playground games and pre-algebra classrooms, I vividly remember my dad talking to me about my medication for the first time. Sat on my bed, holding a warm cell phone to my ear, hearing his tinny voice talk about how my step brother developed behavioral problems because of ADHD medication. I mentioned I hadn’t experienced that. His response was small, but powerful: “Well, yes you have.”

He talked about how I didn’t laugh as much anymore, I was quieter, I “didn’t have the same life in [me].” Regardless of how much happier I was, how much better I was living and learning, he was firmly opposed to my treatment. His alternative? “Learn to live with it.” Words that sunk my heart and stole my sleep. Finally finding a solution to dozens of problems that had plagued me for years, only to be told by a parent that it’s actually bad for you, creates an unhealthy amount of conflict within a child.

Although his words might have been personal, his sentiments were not. The CDC notes that, from 2016-2019, some states reported that as few as 38% of children with ADHD received medication. Some states also report that a third of children diagnosed received no ADHD treatment of any kind. The decision to receive or forgo treatment for any disability is complicated; however, children are inherently more impacted by this decision due to their developing sense of self. My life would be drastically different if my identity was forged by a lack of treatment; I likely never would’ve felt success in educational settings, my emotions would be harder to manage, I’d be less skilled at making and keeping social bonds. In other words, I would’ve been defined by negative attributes at least partially out of my control. Given that the CDC reported that an estimated 6 million children in the U.S. have ADHD, I can’t imagine I’m alone in this experience, or that a negligible number of these kids failed to receive treatment when it was very much needed.

Treatment for my ADHD helped me overcome many of the challenges packaged with the disability, just as it helps the millions of diagnosed children that receive similar care. However, the sizable number of kids who receive no treatment implies a conscious decision ultimately made by their parental figure(s). While forgoing treatment undoubtedly works in certain households with certain kids, my dad’s reaction towards my medication shows that not all parents have a keen sense of what level of treatment is best for their children. This disconnect could be addressed through open dialogues between parents and their children. The way their child feels is an important factor in the decision, and should be understood and considered before an independent judgment is made. Alternatively, speaking with healthcare professionals could have a similar impact. Understanding the physical and mental effects of treatment could allow parents to develop a clearer understanding of the situation, therefore contributing towards an informed and beneficial decision for their child. Regardless of how undue aversions to ADHD treatment are addressed, it is paramount that the happiness and health of affected children is prioritized over personal biases.

Nick Fontaine
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