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For (some) men “quit” is a 4-letter word – by Terry Howard

Except for temperature approaching 90 degrees, there was nothing new that day or out of the ordinary when I pulled into the mall parking lot to begin my daily one-mile walk. So, I took a swig of water, stuffed my keys and phone into my pockets and got started. 

About a third of my way around the mall, I looked over my shoulder and noticed that two women were walking some 20-30 yards behind me. Well, no big deal I thought. But within minutes the two women had caught up with and eventually passed me even though I never slowed down my pace. 

Well, maybe it was because of the fragile nature of my male ego or something else, but I was determined not to allow these women to further outpace me, so I quickened my pace. No luck. Soon they were so far ahead of me that defeated and running short on breath I made a beeline to my car. 

Okay, yes, I’m ashamed to utter these words…I quit!

While sitting in my car processing that experience, I dismissed any excuse that they outpaced me because they were slim, trim and likely marathon runners because slim and trim, ahem, by any stretch of imagination they were not.  

After finishing off my bottle of water, I returned home, took a shower and researched and parallelled that experience with other examples of how women (some women, that is) outpace men (some men, that is) in life expectancy and in other areas. Here’s a snapshot of what I discovered:

Endurance and Ultra-Endurance

  • Fat metabolism: Women often burn stored fat more efficiently during prolonged exercise, providing a steady energy source. 
  • Muscle efficiency: Female muscles often have more oxygen-efficient slow-twitch fibers, which reduce fatigue during ultra-distance activities. 
  • Long-distance sports: In extreme events like ultra-running or marathon swimming, women regularly narrow the performance gap and occasionally win outright. (More on that further down.)

Health and Lifespan

  • Longer life expectancy: Women outlive men in nearly every part of the world; a trend linked to genetics and hormone differences. 
  • Immune response: Female immune systems often fight off certain viruses, bacteria, and infections more effectively than male immune systems. 
  • Lower disease rates: Women experience lower rates of certain infant developmental issues and specific cancers. 

Physical Traits

  • Flexibility: Women generally possess more flexible ligaments and a wider range of motion in their joints.
  • Balance: A lower center of gravity gives women a slight advantage in balance and equilibrium control.
  • Sensory perception: Studies suggest that women often have an advantage in color differentiation and certain aspects of fine motor skills. 

Although each of these areas where women outpace men sometimes deserve singular attention the rest of this narrative will focus on one area in particular that’s related to my recent, eh, “walking with women” unnerving wake up call.

In a 2018 article, “Why men quit, and women don’t,” by Lindsay Crouse, she cited the Boston Marathon as an example of women’s ability to persevere in exceptionally miserable circumstances. Why, in these terrible conditions, were women so much better at enduring she asked?

“The results for Boston, one of the most competitive marathons in the world, were doleful this year: The winning times for both men and women were the slowest since the 1970s, and the midrace dropout rate was up 50 percent overall from last year.

But finishing rates varied significantly by gender. For men, the dropout rate was up almost 80 percent from 2017; for women, it was up only about 12 percent. Overall, 5 percent of men dropped out, versus just 3.8 percent of women. The trend was true at the elite level, too. This marathon made me wonder if gender might play a role. You can find a whole range of theories on why women out-endured men in Boston — body fat composition, decision-making tendencies, pain tolerance, even childbirth — but none offers a perfect answer.

But at the same race in 2012, on an unusually hot 86-degree day, women also finished at higher rates than men, the only other occasion between 2012 and 2018 when they did. So are women somehow better able to withstand extreme conditions?

Differences, she wrote, could also lie in other decision-making traits. For example, women are known to pace themselves better than men, an advantage in any context but especially helpful in the cold, when a large shift in pace could affect one’s ability to regulate body temperature.

Men tend to start races more aggressively and take a higher risk approach, so they’re more likely to blow up in the second half. If you hit the wall at 18 miles in that terrible rainstorm and you’re wearing 7 pounds of sopping wet clothing, there’s a heightened risk you’re going to drop out. Women may also be better able to recalibrate their behavior and expectations based on circumstances (even if that doesn’t mean making the more self-preservationist decision to quit altogether).

Of course, the people who run Boston are a self-selecting group. Women are often discouraged from being athletic and competitive, so the female runners who made it to Boston had already overcome more social obstacles than men. They may simply be tougher, and this was a year when toughness worked.”

Now as I’m about to bring this piece to a close – and head to the mall for another one-mile walk- here’s a short list of questions for men:

  • Putting your immediate reactions to this narrative aside, what potential opportunities does it provide for you to reconsider gender issues in your life?
  •  What unconscious behaviors could you possibly engage in from time to time that may imply male superiority?
  • If you push back from the assumption of women outpacing men in many aspects of life as a zero-sum game – they win, I lose – how might that facilitate both yours and their personal growth and development? 

Oh, yes, here’s another question for my male brothers to grapple with: if you were to pose those three questions to several women in your life how would their responses align with or depart from yours?

Don’t cuss. Don’t roll your eyes. Don’t pontificate……..don’t quit!  

 

Photo by Micah & Sammie Chaffin on Unsplash

Terry Howard
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