originally published in The Chattanooga Times Free Press
All too often we look at the elderly as outliers to society, and the presidential election is embedding in our minds that being old is a non-starter. It’s getting harder to look at an elderly person and feel that you’re experiencing a great moment. Instead, they’re recipients of our sympathy, and objects of charity. That’s why funding Social Security is the only political issue focused on seniors. And that’s women who want to advertise products or be newscasters on TV face-lift themselves silly. The value of being a senior citizen is fading.
Yet, in this digital age when real conversation, kindness and even smiling are lost arts, we need seniors now more than ever. That became clear when I joined the fitness class offered every day at 10am at the East Ridge Senior Center. Arriving a bit early, I was greeted enthusiastically by Pat, the instructor. Pat created and has led the senior programming at the East Ridge Community Center for 17 years She’s dedicated to providing what seniors need for quality living: walking, line dancing, fitness exercises, celebrations.for the program’s 650 participants. As I stood behind my chair where my “tools” rested, a ball, band and weights, one of the regulars came up to me and explained that we stand in front of the chair for the exercises. I thanked her and she explained that of course, she’d help me. We’re all family here.
Other folks in the room came up to me and introduced themselves saying that they may not remember names, but they always remembered faces. Their kindness and engaging smiles echoed a time when community wasn’t something you had to build. After class, no wonder we connected by talking about the weather, road repairs, and back yards. I’m reminded of young people who requested that I teach them how to do “small talk”. For much of the younger generation, communication is reduced to text messages and emojis. Conversation to establish connections is natural for seniors, but not for our youth. And we need that to change.
Experts often underscore how the art of conversation has a major role in developing the leaders of the future. That art, often called “soft skills”, is well-known to have eroded during the pandemic. But the erosion phenomenon isn’t new. Years ago, when I was Research Coordinator at the UTC College of Engineering and Computer Science, several industrial representatives at our job fair asked me to help boost much-needed soft skills.
Covid intensified that trend. Can upcoming generations acquire and refine these soft skills? How will they develop these relationship building blocks that are vital to effective leadership? Maybe they should come to the senior fitness class. It’s mind-changing to see the perseverance and determination of the seniors and I bet many of them will struggle to keep up with the seniors’ moves. Mingling with the seniors after class will be an invaluable lesson in traditional communication skills. It’s a demonstration that what is old is new again, and rather than being “outdated” the art of conversation goes way beyond having a screen be their primary mode of interaction.
Happily, there have been experiments with young people and seniors live together resulting in a movement with an academic flavor. Almost 100 US colleges have developed retirement communities and facilities on or near their campuses. It’s often retired college alumni who apply to become neighbors, mingle with their present-day counterparts and create intergenerational living. Yes, the student-assist of the seniors can be time consuming, but they learn invaluable lessons: different perspectives and skills. We should advocate for intergenerational education – and not delay. Students need it now!
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