originally published in The Chattanooga Times Free Press
On Memorial Day, we not only remember, but also honor those who gave their lives in service to our country. We grieve with their families whose loss will never be forgotten. I’m fortunate that my father survived his military service in World War II. But last week, I spoke to an Army veteran via Zoom whose new movie, The Keeper, taught me that suicide means Memorial Day includes more veterans than you think.
The movie tells a true story of how The Keeper, George Eshleman, walked the Appalachian Trail from Maine to Georgia carrying 363 name tapes from the uniforms of military members who committed suicide. He’s given the trail name “The Keeper” of these names by a special group of veterans he meets along the way, and finds support from fellow hikers in his more than 200 days in the “Hiker Universe.” George wants us to remember these veterans, especially since he struggles to conquer his own depression and suicidal thoughts , which prompted jo, to take a gun with him on his trail trek.
George’s depression struggles mirror those in veterans who account for about half of the suicides in America even though they’re only 7% of our population. In 2021, suicide was the 13th-leading cause of death for Veterans and for veterans under 45-years old, suicide is the 2nd-leading cause of death.
Surprisingly, The Keeper generated a sense of hope because of, not in spite of, the vision of the co-Director Angus Benfield, who also plays Eshleman in the film. In a news release, he said he wanted to “… retain the authenticity of the story and its environment and to not over stylize or sanitize the substance of the story of those 363… or of the current 22 veteran suicides every day.” Angus reminds us that these stories affect “…the countless number of people connected in someway to all those who have lost their lives and those who are losing the battle of a war that never seems to end.”
Co-director Kendall Bryant Jr. shared his especially emotional connection. “My personal journey through PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome) has provided me with a firsthand awareness of the profound struggles individuals face, particularly in grappling with the impact of suicide.”
A psychiatrist friend shared her views of the high veterans’ suicide rate and rattled off a list of the harsh challenges that they face: “Survival Guilt. Trauma. Re-entry problems – how do you go back to being normal and earn a living?” She also noted that some veterans experience chronic traumatic brain injuries due to exposure to low-level explosions. This affects the quality of life, not just survival. She called it, “Death by a thousand cuts/tiny brain injuries.”
When I spoke with George and discovered that he’d worked with the army’s artillery, I realized that he knew the effects of explosions very well. Sharing that the shock waves were invisible, he said that those affected didn’t realize what had happened to them until years later. By then, the military camaraderie is gone. Isolation and loneliness are all too common for veterans experiencing this and other injuries as well as PTSD.
George was very clear about how veterans bury their experience inside themselves for years, even decades. But when the depression surfaced it’s quick and dangerously intense. He’d planned his own suicide on the Appalachian Trail. But the spirit of passed comrades-in-arms came to his side and reassured him that he’s not alone, never alone. So he buried his gun along the Trail and dedicated his life to helping bring veterans’ vulnerabilities to our attention. He is passionate about being present and serving them and their families. I have no doubt that The Keeper movie will inspire us to do the same.
