It all started with a car accident that my mother was in while she was pregnant with me. My mom and dad were rear-ended that caused the seatbelt to tighten up on my mom’s stomach which inevitably tore her placenta. She was rushed to the hospital where I was born about a month before my due date. I was born a healthy baby, just smaller than the others in the nursery.
Fast forward about seven or eight years my mom noticed that I started to walk a little differently that normal. It was nothing too serious, it started off with me just walking on my tippy toes. Then I started to fall, like a lot. Finally, it progressed into me walking hunched over and with a limp. My mom, a nurse, put her medical knowledge to use to try to figure what could possibly be going on with me but it was no use. She couldn’t figure out what the problem was so we did what any sane person would do and went to the doctor. My primary care physician looked at me, and he was just as lost as we were.
Doctor after doctor after doctor, and still nothing. I went to every specialist you can think of. Podiatrists, chiropractors, and even neurologists. MRIs, cat scans and so much blood work. All for nothing. Everything came back normal. It was getting to the point where we were hoping to find something. We just wanted answers.
My mom wanted to know if there was anything we could do about my falling as she was afraid that I would seriously injure myself, but there was solution. I must mention that I never broken bone so go me. With the falling came a big problem, embarrassment. Don’t get me wrong, it’s funny when people fall which I had to learn to keep my peace within myself but as a child, taking a tumble and having all eyes on you is the scariest in the world. My friends and sister were my biggest fighters. If I fell and someone dared to laugh all hell would break loose. I had to remind them that those people don’t know what’s going on with me, I don’t even know what’s going on with me.
My biggest foe with this disability were adults. You would think children would be the ones staring and pointing at me as I’m literally struggling to walk but no, it was grown people. I felt like an animal at a zoo. The constant whispers and glances used to eat me up. Lucky for me I had my family and friends around me who treated me just like everyone else.
Now, school life wasn’t bad for me, yes, I had a walking problem and kids in school will ask me, “Why are you walking like that?” The only answer that I could give them was “I don’t know.” Which I truly didn’t. Like I mentioned, school life wasn’t bad for me at all, I still had all the experiences that everyone else had. I made lifelong friends, I participated in field day, school dances, football games, etc. I guess when you’ve been going to school with the same people all your life, we get used to each other and all our flaws.
After years of nothing, I learned that I just had to go with the flow of life and stop letting my disability define me. With the help of my family, I learned to not listen to people. If I fall just get up and keep moving. Hey, I even laugh with everyone when I fall because its funny to me now. Then something amazing happened.
My mom’s coworker was telling her how she went to this neurologist because she’s been having horrible migraines for years. She said she basically walked in, and he asked her a couple of questions and diagnosed her on the spot. He got her the resources she needed, and she was better the next day. She encouraged my mom to take me to him to see if he could help me and anyway. We get to the doctor’s office and they me back and as we were waiting for him I was just preparing to be disappointed again. I was ready to hear, “Honestly, I never seen anything like this” or “I can’t help you but I can you refer you here.”
This doctor walked in and I was just uninterested. My mom recorded a video of me walking and showed him then he asked me to walk back and forth down the hallway. He looked at my mom mom and she was just shocked as me. He told me why I was walking the way I was. My mom wanted to cry but she held it together. He put me on medication and my walking improved so much. I don’t walk hunched over anymore and my limp is barely noticeable now. I’m physically improving by the day.
To think back in 2017, if I never saw that doctor I would still be out here struggling. I am so grateful to him and everyone who supported me through my journey.
- Living with a Disability Shaped Me – by Jasmyne White - April 6, 2024